How to Change Your Focus from Yourself to Others

Focusing on yourself can be good sometimes, but in the long run, one should try to focus on others most of the time. Humans are social animals; we have to live in society and interact with other people. Your social circle is not just confined to your family, but it includes your friends, colleagues, and clients. Being selfish and only caring about yourself is toxic.

Selfishness is concentrating too much on your own needs while disregarding others. This personality trait is not only considered unethical but, it is also harmful to the person acting selfish. First things first, you need to figure out if you are selfish or not.

Difference Between Selfishness and Self-Care

Self-care is the process of being nice to yourself. Taking care of your physical and mental health, taking long soothing showers, eating healthy, working out, meditation, treating yourself with cookies, and reading a book, and many more such activities are essential for your overall well-being. These activities are regarded as self-care. Self-caring is important as if you are not feeling good yourself, how are you going to focus on others. Remember, ‘self-caring’ is not ‘selfishness.’

On the other hand, selfishness is the manipulative behavior of letting others down for your good. The trait of selfishness is often linked with being self-centered and narcissistic.

A Selfish Person:

  1. Always has an ulterior motive.
  2. Uses others
  3. Is only nice to the people who can serve them
  4. Ignores the needs of others
  5. Focuses on their own goals only

What are Drawbacks of Being Selfish?

Selfishness is a major turn-off for the people. Most people tend to avoid such persons. A selfish person always struggles to develop lasting relationships and friendships. One of the major drawbacks is that the people who only want to gain profit from others while disregarding their needs are unable to be successful in their business.

So, you are now able to understand why focus on others is important. Now the question that arises here is how focusing on others helps you. 

Focusing on Others Actually Benefits You

It is a proven saying that “Money cannot buy happiness.” Achieving your goals, getting a promotion, or money, none of these milestones ensures inner happiness and satisfaction. At some point in life, every person that seems successful feels this sense of being incomplete.

Before achieving something in life, people always think that it will give them real happiness in life, but after achieving that milestone, they are still unhappy and continue their unnecessary pursuits. You may be asking where does happiness come from then? True happiness lies in putting the needs of others first, helping others, and being compassionate towards others. When you focus on others even when difficult, the benefits that come are absolutely worth it.

Makes You Feel Good

Helping others makes you feel good about yourself. Seeing someone achieving something enhances your self-esteem. When you focus on others’ problems more it makes you forget your own worries and reduces mental stress and chances of depression. So, in short, helping others is a great treat for your brain.

Builds Strong Social Connections

Read this Article on How to Attract People to You

While you focus on others, it enables you to make good friends and relations. You attract people to yourself. You can make strong relations with others, and people become more sincere with you. This strong connection to people not only enables you to achieve your mutual goals and if you face any sort of downfall, these friends and people will often be there for you.

Radiates Positivity

Change your focus and put others first, help them raise their spirits and find the joy of helping others as well. These people, in turn, help others, and the cycle goes on. This attitude enables you to develop a healthy and productive working environment in your office or any working environment. This is not just it; you will be able to attract similar vibes as it is said, “Do good, have good.”

How to Put the Needs of Others First

Now you are familiar with the importance of putting the needs of others first. Let’s take a look at a few ways you can change your focus:

Ask Questions and Listen to Answers

Genuinely ask other people questions like “how are you?” and “how are you getting on?” Do not just ask these questions but also sincerely listen to their replies. If you sense any sort of disturbance in their tone, ask more. When they describe their problems, think of the possible ways you could help them, assist them, and say comforting words. It means you must change your focus from yourself and your own opinions to those of the other person.

Be Aware of Your Surroundings 

Another way of prioritizing the needs of others is being observant of your surroundings. Some people are too shy and hesitant to open up to others. This will make you more sensitive towards others. If you see anyone around you struggling with anything, do not wait for a second to help them.

When you change your focus to what is going on around you, you will discover that people will be drawn to you because you seem to know what is going on all the time.

Make Time for People

Life gets busy sometimes, and we forget to pay attention to others. So, you should try to take some time out of your schedule for others. Take some time to call friends and to meet new people. Constant interaction with others will make them feel valued.

When you “reach out” to others you will often find they were hoping that you would.

Use Social Media to Stay Connected

Social media is an excellent way of staying connected with people far from you. It is easy to look after the people around you but communicating with people who are distant from you to spread positivity.

Use social media to change your focus from yourself and looking for validation to offering connection to others. Don’t just click “like” comment what you like about the post they shared. You will be surprised at just how valuable your comments will become to others.

Help in Even Smaller Ways

You do not always have to help others by giving money or doing a lot. Sometimes little things are enough to make someone’s day. Some people just require you to listen to them rant or talk. Helping someone with their project, letting people borrow something, asking for lunch, or offering a ride home are the little things that mean a lot. 

Do Not Expect Anything in Return

Whenever you are trying to help people, do that with a true good intention. Do not expect anything in return. For instance, if someone asks you for a loan, and you have it to lend. Give away the money and assure them that they do not have to return it. This will bring ease to their mind, and allow them to see you differently. Your focus then becomes about their wellbeing and not about your money. If you cannot lend them money talk to them and find out what they actually need (money is only a tool for acquiring something of value).

Be Approachable 

Stay humble and do not look arrogant so that people find it easy to approach you for anything. Treat all of the people equally regardless of their social status or anything.

Sharing is Caring

Sharing your resources and knowledge with others is also one of the best ways to help others. You may even decide to share your lunch with someone who does not have one. Being open with information that might be helpful for others. Share happiness and sadness with others.

Why You Should Help Others Succeed

The idea of helping others succeed might sound dumb to some people. In this competitive world, you may think, “how can you succeed by letting others succeed?” The answer is whatever you do, comes back to you. There is nothing more rewarding than letting others succeed. Helping others will open the door for numerous opportunities for you.

More people will want you to succeed, so it is a win-win situation. Moreover, you will have the least amount of rivals. This does not mean that while helping others, you should expect anything in return, it is important to note that your success will come in unlikely ways. Rise by raising others; this is the number one quality of leadership.

How to Help Others Succeed

Following are the easy ways of helping others succeed.

Become a Mentor

Mentorship means providing true guidance and teaching someone. Your major goal as a mentor is to help others reach their goals. You do not need to get special training to become a mentor; merely helping others succeed will make you one. A mentor is always ready to invest in others to help them achieve something. He closely looks at others’ qualities and abilities and tries to enhance and utilize them in the best way.

Constructive Criticism

Constructive criticism is mandatory to help others succeed. You must try to tell others their mistakes and flaws in a nice manner. Also, you must always appreciate the efforts of others and suggest ways to improve their work. 

Inspire Others

Inspiring others is the best way to lead them to success. Offering people working under your supervision a raise or promotion is a good way to motivate them for the time being; however, inspiring them has long-lasting results. Inspire others by applauding their efforts, contributions and showing them respect. This attitude of yours will make others feel worthy, and they will strive more for success.

Spread Positivity 

Spread positivity around you. To do that, you need to be optimistic yourself. Having a good working environment is the key to success. You can make someone’s day in the easiest way. Start by greeting others nicely. The greeting is the best way to initiate conversation and get to know others more.

So, greeting others, shaking hands, hugging, and smiling at others will give a positive start to your day’s activities. In addition to that, paying compliments to others is awesome. However, always try to make it a real and genuine one, so it has a good effect on that person.

Stop Gossiping

As mentioned earlier, to make others succeed, you must spread positivity, and the activity called ‘gossiping’ is not even close to that. Backbiting or making fun of others is the worst. Gossiping is considered to be a fun activity, but it has bad implications. Talking behind others only leads to tension between people. By gossiping, you let others down, which is the opposite of helping them succeed.

Celebrate Others’ Success

Last but not least step is celebrating others’ success. The celebration will encourage them to get more victories in the future. So, try to cherish even the small victories, get a treat or grab a drink and celebrate!

Why a Business that Focuses on Other’s Success is Ideal

Numerous businesses focus on other’s success. The good news is that this business idea can be anything from providing academic services, counseling, ideas, or teaching some skill. A business that focuses on other’s success is ideal because

  • You can start such business at home
  • They do not require much investment
  • There are always people that need services
  • There is nothing as latest trends or hype
  • They are always in full swing
  • You keep learning and developing

A successful businessman always focuses on other’s success more than his own profit. An ideal business is one that focuses on the customer’s needs and aims to provide the best service. A person alone cannot establish this task. It is a fact that “Teamwork makes the dream work.” Once you start getting clients, you can hire more workers and develop a strong network with great profit.

Why You Should Spend More Time Building Your Downline Business

There are several pros of building your own business, so you must pay heed to it. Having a 9 to 5 job, working with people you may or may not like, bearing the mood swings of your boss, getting insulted when anything goes wrong are the drawbacks of working under someone. Having your own business can save you from all these troubles. Following are some pros of having your own business.

  • Be your own boss
  • Make your own team
  • Work whenever and wherever you want
  • Make exponential profit
  • Be free to use your ideas

Working with enthusiasm and giving more time to your downline business will surely be fruitful, and it will become your main source of earning in no time.

Lead by Example

The concept of “Lead by Example” is becoming popular nowadays. In this process, people get motivation from others that if he/she can do it, then anyone can do it. This method should be adopted by everyone who is willing to do something different. The best examples of it are the ones who workday and night to set some examples for others.

Important Elements of this Concept:

  • Giving your team all the credits for their efforts
  • Understanding the needs of your people
  • Giving respect to others
  • Keeping clear lines of communication
  • Being honest with others
  • Not forcing anyone to follow your rules

In case you are working in an office, it’s important to follow the lead by example concept. In this way, you will give more value to your employees and respect them as well. Even valuing employees’ relationships and resolving conflicts are the important pillars of lead by example.

FAQ’s

Is it best to focus on others first?

Yes, too often everyone is so focused on themselves, they forget that others have needs and wants. The most successful people in the world spend most of their lives helping others. It is thought that they become successful first then focus on others, but in reality it is their focus on others that helps them become so successful in the first place.

Is it okay to focus on yourself sometimes?

Yes! Do not forget to be good to yourself. If you allow your own needs to stay unmet, you will not be much good to others. The secret is to not become selfish and think of no one but yourself.

How to Alter Your Focus Quickly

Time needed: 2 minutes.

Use these steps to move your focus to others and become more empathic.

  1. Become mindful

    When you decide to become mindful you flip a switch in your head and absorb the moment, events, and surroundings. This takes a few additional steps. Find them below.

  2. Look Around

    Become aware of what is happening around you. Stop and focus on not just the visual of what is taking place, become aware of the emotion that is being projected. Think about how you feel about what is happening and without getting caught in it consider why you feel that way.

  3. Listen closely

    Listen to the words being spoken, but more importantly listen to what is not being said by others. 95% of communication is nonverbal. Pay closer attention.

  4. Be friendly and approachable

    Be the caring ear that and empathetic soul that other crave. When you can sense what others need you can offer it to them in a caring way.

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Aaron Jarrels, EzineArticles Basic Author

Aaron Jarrels

I am focused on helping anyone who wants to expand their reach. I help people overcome their limiting beliefs and show them how to gain the confidence to eliminate imposter syndrome that hinders success. I specialize in assisting people with shifting their mindsets and help them master the skills necessary to achieve professional and personal success.