Break the LOOP
Stop having the same fight, and know exactly what to do next.
I teach a simple framework that helps couples identify the conflict stage they are in, interrupt escalation, and follow a clear repair plan.
Most couples do not need a new conversation technique. They need a simple repeatable way to interrupt the pattern before it escalates, then a clear path to repair and move forward.
The problem is not your relationship. It is the loop.
Most couples get stuck in a repeating cycle:
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a small trigger turns into overload
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the same meaning gets assigned
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the same protection move shows up
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and the same fight repeats
If you cannot name the stage you're in, you cannot choose the right move.
The LOOP has 4 stages:
Launch
The spark that starts it. Tone, timing, a request, a look, a missed expectation.
Overload
Your nervous system goes hot. Thinking narrows. Everything feels urgent.
Old Story
The meaning you snap into. “Here we go again.” “I do not matter.” “You never listen.”
Protection Move
What you do to protect yourself. Attack, defend, fix, withdraw, appease, control.
What Changes Everything:
- You stop trying to solve the content while you are overloaded.
- You interrupt the loop first, then repair.
WHAT TO DO NEXT
Three Tools In Order:
RESET
- A short script that interrupts escalation and gets both people regulated.
REPAIR
- A guided way to own your part, name impact, and rebuild trust after the moment passes.
PLAYBOOK
- Your default plan for the next time the loop starts, so you stop improvising under stress.
For Couples
If you want practical steps you can use this week, start here:
- Free download: The RESET Script
- Workshop or talk: “Stop the Same Fight From Looping”
- Course or coaching: Learn the full framework and build your couple Playbook
For Churches, Pastors, and Group Leaders
This is not primarily a couples class.
It is a leader pipeline that produces trained couples who can lead other couples.
License Break the LOOP for your church and get:
- a consistent program that runs across campuses
- leader training and facilitation guidance
- a simple vocabulary that reduces confusion and drama
- a repeatable skills practice rhythm, not a processing group
- implementation structure for cohorts and follow-up
What you can expect when couples use the framework
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fights get shorter and less intense
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escalation is interrupted earlier
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both people feel safer to be honest
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repair happens sooner, with less defensiveness
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recurring issues become manageable because the process is predictable
About Aaron Jarrels
I am a relationship coach and speaker with a background in counseling psychology and couples work. I build practical frameworks that make conflict predictable and solvable, especially in group and church settings where clarity and repeatability matter.
My focus is simple: give couples the few skills that actually interrupt the cycle, and give leaders a program they can run well, consistently, and safely.