Recurring Conflict
Aaron Jarrels is a licensed therapist and founder of Break the Loop, a relationship education framework that helps couples identify and interrupt recurring conflict patterns that keep them having versions of the same fight.
Explore Aaron’s articles on recurring conflict, overload, protection moves, repair, and the patterns that keep couples stuck in the same arguments.
Why Do Our Arguments About Anything Always Become About Money?
Some arguments start with chores, work, time, or family and somehow end up back at money. Learn why financial concerns become the familiar destination of a Loop and how to keep the original issue from disappearing.
Why Do We Start Arguing About One Thing and End Up Arguing About Everything?
One disagreement can quickly turn into five when old hurts, defensiveness, and larger meanings enter the conversation. Learn why arguments expand and how to keep multiple legitimate concerns from becoming one impossible fight.
Why Do I Keep Bringing Up Old Hurts When We Fight?
Old hurts can return during new arguments when the present feels connected to something unresolved. Learn why the past becomes part of the Loop and how to address history without letting every conflict become about everything that came before.
Why Do We Keep Fighting About Chores?
Chore fights can involve a real workload imbalance while the same conflict pattern keeps making it harder to solve. Learn how fairness, responsibility, criticism, and feeling unseen can turn household tasks into a recurring Loop.
Why Do We Keep Fighting About Money?
Money disagreements can be real while the same conflict pattern keeps making them harder to solve. Learn how trust, safety, fairness, and control can enter the Loop—and how to catch the money fight earlier.
Why Overexplaining Yourself Can Sound Like Defensiveness
Overexplaining can feel like clarification from the inside while sounding like defensiveness to your partner. Learn how the urge to explain becomes a Protection Move and how to acknowledge impact without giving up your perspective.
Why Trying to Fix the Problem Can Make Your Partner More Upset
Trying to solve your partner’s problem can come from a genuine desire to help and still leave them feeling unheard. Learn how fixing can become a Protection Move and when listening may be the more useful first response.
Why Defensiveness Makes Relationship Arguments Worse
Defensiveness can turn one relationship concern into a second argument about blame, intention, and who is being unfair. Learn how defense becomes part of the Loop and how to catch it before the original issue disappears.
Why Does My Partner Keep Explaining Instead of Listening?
When your partner keeps explaining instead of listening, you may push harder just to feel heard. Learn how explanation can become a Protection Move and how to ask for acknowledgment without turning it into another fight.
Why Do I Keep Explaining Myself During Arguments and Make Things Worse?
Explaining yourself can start as an attempt to clarify and end with both partners feeling unheard. Learn when explanation becomes a Protection Move and how changing the order of acknowledgment and explanation can interrupt the Loop.