Recurring Conflict
Aaron Jarrels is a licensed therapist and founder of Break the Loop, a relationship education framework that helps couples identify and interrupt recurring conflict patterns that keep them having versions of the same fight.
Explore Aaron’s articles on recurring conflict, overload, protection moves, repair, and the patterns that keep couples stuck in the same arguments.
Why Defensiveness Makes Relationship Arguments Worse
Defensiveness can turn one relationship concern into a second argument about blame, intention, and who is being unfair. Learn how defense becomes part of the Loop and how to catch it before the original issue disappears.
Why Does My Partner Keep Explaining Instead of Listening?
When your partner keeps explaining instead of listening, you may push harder just to feel heard. Learn how explanation can become a Protection Move and how to ask for acknowledgment without turning it into another fight.
Why Do I Keep Explaining Myself During Arguments and Make Things Worse?
Explaining yourself can start as an attempt to clarify and end with both partners feeling unheard. Learn when explanation becomes a Protection Move and how changing the order of acknowledgment and explanation can interrupt the Loop.
Why Does My Partner Get Defensive Every Time I Bring Something Up?
When your partner gets defensive every time you raise a problem, it can feel impossible to be heard. Learn what may be happening inside the Loop and how to ask for acknowledgment without abandoning the issue.
Why Criticism Makes Your Partner Stop Listening
Criticism can make an important concern harder for your partner to hear. Learn how complaints turn into verdicts, why defensiveness follows, and how to raise difficult issues without feeding the Loop.
Why Feeling Criticized Makes You Stop Listening
Feeling criticized can turn a conversation about one problem into a verdict about who you are. Learn how that shift disrupts listening and how to protect your dignity without feeding the Loop.
Why Feeling Ignored Makes You Push Harder During an Argument
Feeling ignored during an argument can turn a simple concern into an urgent need to be heard. Learn how that shift fuels the Loop and how to protect what matters without increasing the pressure.
Why the More Your Partner Pushes, the More You Want to Withdraw
When your partner keeps pushing to talk, withdrawing can feel like the only way to reduce the pressure. Learn why that response becomes compelling and how to protect your capacity without disappearing from the conversation.
Why the More You Push to Talk, the More Your Partner Pulls Away
When your partner pulls away, pushing harder to talk may feel like the only way to protect connection. Learn why that pressure can increase withdrawal and how to choose a different next move without dropping the issue.
Why One Partner Wants to Talk and the Other Wants Space
When one partner wants to keep talking and the other needs space, each response can intensify the other. Learn how this recurring Loop forms and how to protect both connection and capacity without feeding the same pattern.
GET EXCLUSIVE CONTENT DELIVERED RIGHT TO YOUR INBOX!
Becoming an insider is free and easy.
Insiders get exclusive content delivered directly to their inboxes. Be sure you never miss out on anything that will help you grow your business faster and easier.