Recurring Conflict
Aaron Jarrels is a licensed therapist and founder of Break the Loop, a relationship education framework that helps couples identify and interrupt recurring conflict patterns that keep them having versions of the same fight.
Explore Aaron’s articles on recurring conflict, overload, protection moves, repair, and the patterns that keep couples stuck in the same arguments.
Why Do We Both Think the Other Person Started the Fight?
Both partners can sincerely believe the other person started the fight because each may experience a different moment as the beginning. Learn how to map the sequence, keep accountability specific, and stop getting trapped in proving who started it.
What to Say When You Realize You’re Having the Same Fight Again
Recognizing the same argument is only the first step. Learn what to say when your familiar Loop starts again, how to name the pattern without blaming your partner, and how to make one different next move.
What Is Kitchen Sinking in a Relationship and Why Does It Happen?
Kitchen sinking happens when one disagreement rapidly expands to include old hurts, separate complaints, and unrelated problems. Learn why arguments grow this way and how to keep multiple concerns from overwhelming the conversation.
Why Do We Keep Fighting About Sex?
Sexual differences can quickly become fights about rejection, desire, pressure, and whether either partner feels understood. Learn how the Loop intensifies sexual conflict and how to discuss connection while protecting consent and agency.
How to Stop Bringing Up the Past During Arguments
Old hurts can matter without becoming part of every new disagreement. Learn how to recognize when the past enters your Loop, keep one issue in focus, and give unresolved problems the separate attention they need.
Why Do We Keep Fighting About In-Laws?
In-law disagreements can quickly become fights about loyalty, boundaries, fairness, and whose side your partner is on. Learn how the Loop makes family conflict bigger—and how to address the issue without turning each other into opponents.
Why Do We Keep Fighting About Spending Time Together?
Couples can want different amounts or kinds of time together and still care deeply about each other. Learn how the Loop turns differences around closeness and independence into recurring fights—and how to catch the pattern earlier.
Why Do We Fight About Phones and Attention?
Phone arguments can quickly become fights about attention, priorities, control, and whether either partner matters. Learn how the Loop makes a small distraction feel much bigger—and how to catch the pattern earlier.
Why Do We Keep Fighting About Parenting?
Parenting disagreements can quickly become fights about competence, fairness, authority, and trust. Learn how the Loop turns a practical parenting decision into a larger relationship conflict—and how to catch that shift earlier.
Why Does Every Disagreement Become an Argument About Sex?
A disagreement about chores, time, or communication can suddenly become the same argument about sex. Learn why sexual conflict can become a familiar destination in the Loop and how to keep the original issue from disappearing.