How to change the way I feel about myself

Do you feel like you could use a confidence boost? Do you want to learn how to be more positive about yourself and your life? If so, this blog post is for you! Here we’ll look at practical tips and strategies that can help you change the way you feel about yourself and build your self-esteem.

Understand What Self-Esteem Is

Self-esteem is an important part of how we feel about ourselves. It is our overall sense of personal value and self-worth. Understanding what self-esteem is, can help you to identify the signs of low self-esteem and learn ways to improve it.

Self-esteem is not just our opinion of what we look like; it’s how much we respect ourselves and how we think others perceive us. It affects all aspects of our lives, from our relationships to our career success and even our mental health.

To understand your own self-esteem, you need to recognize the signs of low self-esteem. These can include feelings of worthlessness, fear of failure, difficulty accepting compliments, difficulty making decisions, comparing yourself to others, and feeling inferior to others.

Once you are aware of your own self-esteem, you can start to make positive changes. One way to start improving your self-esteem is to challenge negative thinking patterns. This can involve identifying negative thoughts about yourself, challenging the accuracy of those thoughts, and replacing them with more positive ones.

Another way to boost your self-esteem is to celebrate life and recognize your accomplishments. This can involve taking time to acknowledge the small successes in your life and being proud of what you have achieved.

Finally, you can improve your self-esteem by questioning the stories you tell yourself about who you are. By recognizing stories that no longer serve you and replacing them with more positive ones, you can increase your sense of personal value and worth.

By understanding what self-esteem is and recognizing the signs of low self-esteem, you can start to make changes that will help you to improve it. With commitment and dedication, you can start to change the way you feel about yourself.

Recognizing the signs of low self-esteem

Change the way you feel about yourself.

Recognizing the signs of low self-esteem can help you understand what is causing your low self-esteem and how to start making changes. Common signs of low self-esteem include:

  1. Feeling like you don’t deserve care and consideration. 
  2. Feeling guilty for everyday actions.
  3. Being extra sensitive to criticism.
  4. Feeling unlovable or awkward.
  5. Having a negative view of yourself and the world.
  6. Feeling anxious, sad, or angry, and having a low opinion of yourself.

If any of these symptoms apply to you, it may be time to start working on improving your self-esteem.

Challenge Your Negative Thoughts

Challenging your negative thoughts is a key part of improving your self-esteem. When you become aware of the negative thoughts you have about yourself, you can start to challenge their accuracy and replace them with healthier, more positive thoughts.

Start by recognizing the signs of low self-esteem and identifying your negative thoughts. Once you have identified these thoughts, question their accuracy by asking yourself: Is this really true? Is there any evidence to support this thought?

Use the Twenty Questions to Help You Challenge Negative Thoughts exercise to help challenge the accuracy of your thoughts. This exercise can help you reframe your thinking in such a way that would support a healthy relationship with yourself.

When challenging your negative thoughts, it’s important to remember that you don’t have to completely eliminate them. Rather, it’s about recognizing the patterns of thinking and finding ways to adjust them in order to create a more positive outlook on life.

Replace negative thoughts with positive ones by using concrete and positive affirmations. Instead of “I am never going to get this right”, try saying “I am working hard to get this right” or “I can learn from this experience and get better at it”.

Identify Your Negative Thoughts

Identifying your negative thoughts can be an arduous task, as it requires a certain level of self-awareness. To help you identify your negative thoughts, take the time to write them down and make a list of all the negative things you think about yourself. Once you have identified your negative thoughts, it’s time to challenge them. Ask yourself if they are truly accurate and if they are based on facts or assumptions. It’s important to remember that just because you think something doesn’t make it true.

Once you have identified the negative thoughts, it is time to challenge them. Ask yourself if they are really accurate and if they are based on facts or assumptions. For example, if you are feeling down because you think that everyone is better than you at something, ask yourself if that is accurate and true. Are there examples of when you have done something better than someone else? It’s important to remember that just because you feel like something is true doesn’t mean that it actually is.

Another way to challenge your negative thoughts is to use positive affirmations. Positive affirmations are short statements that focus on the positive aspects of yourself and life in general. For example, instead of thinking “I’m not good enough”, try reminding yourself “I am capable and talented and deserve love”. Writing positive affirmations can help you focus on the positive aspects of yourself and life in general instead of dwelling on the negative ones.

Challenging and reframing your negative thoughts can be challenging work, but it can also be incredibly rewarding. Taking the time to identify and challenge your negative thoughts can help you become more aware of how they affect your life and give you the power to change them for the better.

Challenge the Accuracy of Your Thoughts

Once you have identified your negative thoughts, it is time to challenge their accuracy. This can be done by asking yourself questions. Here are a few examples of questions you can ask yourself to challenge the accuracy of your negative thoughts:

  • Is this thought fact or opinion?
  • Are there any other ways to look at this situation?
  • Is this thought helpful or unhelpful?
  • How would someone else view this situation?
  • What would I tell a friend who was thinking this thought?
  • Am I jumping to conclusions, or is there evidence for this thought?
  • Is this thought based on reality, or my fears and anxieties?

Challenging the accuracy of your thoughts is a key step in changing the way you feel about yourself. By questioning the accuracy of your thoughts, you can begin to recognize how they may be affecting your self-esteem and start to challenge them.

Replace Negative Thoughts with Positive Ones

Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones is essential for improving your self-esteem. To do this, you can use the two-column exercise: First, identify the negative thought, then replace it with a positive statement that you can tell yourself instead. You can also use mantras and affirmations to help you shift out of negative thought patterns. Additionally, try making mental shifts by recognizing when your thoughts are counterproductive and shifting them to something more constructive. Finally, don’t forget to celebrate your accomplishments and recognize the positive aspects of yourself. This will help you move away from negative thinking and towards a more positive outlook.

Celebrate Life

Celebrating life is an important part of improving your self-esteem. Taking the time to appreciate and recognize the small successes in your life can help you feel more confident and capable. Here are some tips for celebrating life and recognizing your accomplishments:

Celebrate your wins!
  1. Look at what you’ve already achieved – Make a list of all the things you’re proud of in your life, which might be getting a good mark on a test, completing a project on time, or even taking a risk like trying something new.
  2. Write a gratitude letter – Writing down your thoughts and feelings about all the things that you’re thankful for can help you appreciate your own accomplishments and reflect on how far you have come.
  3. Access your inner 8-year-old – Grab a friend and two hot cocoas and go on a long, winding winter-wonderland walk. Then make snow angels. Taking time to appreciate things that make you feel like a kid again can help bring out joy in life.
  4. Take a break – As you go about your day, try to notice when you take even the smallest step toward your goals, and be sure to honor that in some way. Even just writing it down can help motivate you to keep going.
  5. Treat yourself to the ultimate “you” day – Take some time to do everything that brings you joy. This might be reading a book, going for a walk-in nature, or even just taking a hot bath with your favorite bath bomb.
  6. Practice self-forgiveness – If you’ve hurt people in the past or acted in ways, you’re not proud of, forgiving yourself can feel hard. But doing so does not mean you condone what happened; instead, it is an act of letting go and moving towards healing.

Recognize your accomplishments

Recognizing your accomplishments is an essential part of improving your self-esteem and feeling more confident in yourself. Celebrating your successes helps to build confidence, strengthen relationships, and motivate you for future goals. Here are a few tips for recognizing and celebrating your accomplishments:

Set Small Goals: Break down big goals into smaller, achievable ones. Achieving even the small goals will help you to build momentum, giving you the drive to reach bigger goals in the future.

Pay it Forward: When you achieve something, take a moment to recognize those who have helped you along the way. Show gratitude by acknowledging their contributions and offering assistance when needed.

Notice the Little Things: Throughout the day, take note of the small steps taken towards achieving your goals. Whether it’s completing a morning routine or taking on a new challenge, make sure to honor these moments and give yourself credit.

Question Your Stories: We all have stories we tell ourselves about who we are, some of which no longer serve us. Take time to question these stories, identify any that are inaccurate or unhelpful, and replace them with positive ones.

Focus on Actions: Instead of focusing on changing who you are, focus on changing your actions. Identify the habits associated with what you want to change and commit to making minor changes over time that will bring you closer to your goals.

By taking the time to recognize and celebrate your accomplishments, you can begin to feel more confident in yourself and take steps towards improving your self-esteem.

Question Your Stories

Questioning your stories is a powerful tool to help you change the way you feel about yourself. It involves taking a step back and examining the core beliefs that make up your self-narrative. By recognizing the stories that no longer serve you, you can start to create a new narrative and cultivate more positive feelings about yourself.

To start questioning your stories, take a few moments to write down your personal identity story. Try to use simple descriptive phrases such as “I am tough”, “I take care of others”, or “I am successful” and then evaluate if this story is true or not. Ask yourself if this story is really an accurate representation of who you are and if it still serves you.

You can also use the work of Kindra Hall or Byron Katie to challenge your story. Kindra Hall suggests that you remember to expect that not everything will go smoothly but keep believing that you can make it. Byron Katie’s set of questions helps to challenge your story by asking yourself whether the thoughts you have are true or not, and if they are still serving you.

Here are her four questions:

Question 1: Is it true?

This question can change your life. Be still and ask yourself if the thought you wrote down is true.

Question 2: Can you absolutely know if it’s true?

This is another opportunity to open your mind and to go deeper into the unknown, to find the answers that live beneath what we think we know.

Question 3: How do you react (what happens) when you believe that thought?

With this question, you will begin to notice internal cause and effect. You can see that when you believe the thought, there is a disturbance that can range from mild discomfort to fear or panic. What do you feel? How do you treat the person (or the situation) you’ve written about, how do you treat yourself, when you believe that thought? Make a list and be specific.

Question 4: Who would you be without the thought?

Imagine yourself in the presence of that person (or in that situation), without believing the thought. How would your life be different if you didn’t have the ability to even think the stressful thought? How would you feel? Which do you prefer—life with or without that thought? Which feels kinder, more peaceful?

Use these questions to challenge the stories you tell yourself – about yourself. They seem simple, and they are, but they are enormously powerful.

Finally, consider finding the habits associated with the thing you want to change. Instead of focusing on changing who you are, focus on changing your actions and practice making minor changes every day. This will help you create a new story for yourself and cultivate more positive feelings about yourself over time.

What stories do you tell yourself about who you are?

Questioning your stories is an important part of changing the way you feel about yourself. It is essential to recognize the stories that no longer serve you and replace them with more positive, empowering ones.

To get started, it can be helpful to write down the stories you tell yourself about who you are. Once you have written these down, look at each one with a critical eye and ask yourself: is this true? Is this how I want to think about myself?

When questioning your stories, it is important to remember that our stories can be both positive and negative. It can be tempting to focus only on the negative stories we tell ourselves, but it is also important to recognize and celebrate our positive stories as well.

Once you have identified the stories that no longer serve you, it is time to start replacing them with more positive, empowering ones. This can take some practice, but it can be done! Make a list of positive statements about yourself that you can use whenever a negative story arises. Affirmations are a great tool for this as they help shift your thinking to more empowering beliefs.

Finally, practice being aware of the stories you tell yourself and how they affect your mood and behavior. This can help you become more mindful of the stories you tell yourself and how they shape your life.

How can you recognize the stories that no longer serve you?

It can be difficult to recognize stories that no longer serve you. Try to look out for any stories that make you feel bad about yourself or limit your potential. It’s also important to remember that stories change over time and what may have been true at one point may no longer be relevant.

To help identify stories that no longer serve you, start by writing down the beliefs and assumptions you have about yourself. Once you’ve done this, ask yourself if they are still true and how they make you feel. If they make you feel bad or limit your potential, it’s likely that they are stories that no longer serve you.

Another way to recognize stories that no longer serve you is to consider what has changed since the story was created. For example, if a story was created when you were in school, consider how your life has changed since then. Are the same assumptions still applicable?

You can also talk to friends and family members about your beliefs and assumptions. Ask them if they think those beliefs are still true and if not, why not? This can help open a larger conversation about how your beliefs may have changed over time.

Finally, try to find an alternate perspective on the situation and consider if there is another way to look at it. This can help you gain a more realistic perspective of the situation, which can lead to a more positive outlook on life and better self-esteem.

What are some ways to practice questioning your stories?

Questioning your stories can be difficult and it takes practice to become comfortable with it. Here are some tips for getting started:

  • Start by reflecting on your current stories – Take a few moments to reflect on the stories you tell yourself about who you are. What are the stories that come up when you think about yourself?
  • Ask yourself questions – Start questioning the accuracy of your stories by asking yourself questions like “Is this really true?” or “What evidence do I have that this is true?”
  • Write it down – Writing down your thoughts and stories can help you see patterns in your thinking, as well as identify any inaccurate thoughts or stories that you may be telling yourself.
  • Talk to friends or family – Talking to friends or family can help you gain a different and distinct perspective on your story and provide an outside perspective on what might not be true.
  • Remember that you can change – It’s important to remember that stories can change over time, and that you are not stuck with the same story forever. You always have the power to create a new story for yourself.

Find the Habits Associated with the Thing You Want to Change

Are you looking to change the way you feel about yourself? Your habits can play a significant role in this process. To get started, it’s important to identify the habits associated with the thing you want to change. Make a list of all the activities and behaviors you engage in that have a negative impact on how you feel about yourself. This could include things like spending too much time on social media, eating unhealthy foods, or smoking. Once you’ve identified these habits, you can start to work on replacing them with healthier ones. This might mean committing to spending less time on social media, eating more fruits and vegetables, or quitting smoking. Start by setting small, achievable goals and celebrating your successes as you reach them. By finding and replacing the habits associated with how you feel about yourself, you can make positive changes in your life and start feeling better about yourself.

Focus on Changing Actions, Not Who You Are

When it comes to changing how you feel about yourself, it’s important to focus on changing your actions, not who you are. Trying to change yourself – that is, who you are – will inevitably lead you to fail and feel hopeless. But if you instead focus on changing your actions without attempting to change your identity, you will be more likely to succeed and feel confident in yourself.

Building a strong self-relationship is a great way to return your focus to yourself. Feeling uncertain about your identity can make it tough to get clarity on what actions you should be taking. Goals can give us hope, the feeling of progress, and they can provide the aimless sense of direction. Reaching a goal is social media worthy, but it’s important to focus on yourself first and foremost.

Focusing on yourself means identifying what you want out of life and then working towards achieving those goals. This is important because you can take action without having to change who you are. There is a way to climb out of that place and find yourself again. It just comes down to establishing new habits.

Here are a few tips for how to do that:

  • Start journaling – Journaling can help bring clarity to your thoughts, identify patterns in your behavior, and create structure for your goals.
  • Find the habit associated with the thing you want to change – Identifying the habits associated with the thing you want to change can help you focus on making slight changes in those areas.
  • Change your thinking – Changing your thinking is not only to be more optimistic but giving your mind the breathing room, it needs to grow and expand. It’s about looking at the bigger picture and understanding that failure is part of growth.
  • Let go of perfectionism – Perfectionism is a trap. There is nothing sadder to see than someone who wants to achieve greatness but doesn’t take action because they want to wait until they believe they can do it perfectly.

Commit to Making Small Changes

Making changes in your life can be intimidating, but the key is to focus on making small adjustments. Start by breaking down the change you want to make into achievable goals. This will make the process less overwhelming and allow you to stay motivated. Once you have identified the steps you need to take, commit to following through with them.

Make a plan for yourself and schedule time each day to work towards your goals. Set clear deadlines for yourself and track your progress along the way. Doing this will help you stay focused and motivated as you work towards achieving your goals. Achieving your goals is a key factor in helping you with the question of how can I change the way I feel about myself.

It’s also important to be kind to yourself during this process. Understand that not everything will go according to plan and that setbacks are part of the journey. Give yourself grace and make sure you take breaks when needed. This will give you the opportunity to recharge and stay focused on your mission.

By taking small, consistent steps towards the change you want to make, you can slowly but surely create lasting change in your life. Don’t let fear or doubt dictate your actions; instead, focus on what you can control, commit to making minor changes, and trust that these efforts will eventually lead you towards the life you desire.

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Aaron Jarrels

I am focused on helping anyone who wants to expand their reach. I help people overcome their limiting beliefs and show them how to gain the confidence to eliminate imposter syndrome that hinders success. I specialize in assisting people with shifting their mindsets and help them master the skills necessary to achieve professional and personal success.