Practical Conflict Skills
Aaron Jarrels is a licensed therapist and founder of Break the Loop, a relationship education framework that helps couples identify and interrupt recurring conflict patterns that keep them having versions of the same fight.
Explore Aaron’s articles on recurring conflict, overload, protection moves, repair, and the patterns that keep couples stuck in the same arguments.
How to Stay on Topic During an Argument
Arguments can quickly expand until several problems are competing for attention at once. Learn how to stay on topic, address related concerns without dismissing them, and keep one disagreement from turning into five.
What to Say When You Realize You’re Having the Same Fight Again
Recognizing the same argument is only the first step. Learn what to say when your familiar Loop starts again, how to name the pattern without blaming your partner, and how to make one different next move.
How to Stop Being Defensive During an Argument
Defensiveness can make a partner feel unheard even when you are only trying to explain yourself. Learn how to catch the defensive Loop earlier, understand the complaint first, and make room for your perspective without escalating the fight.
How to Stop Bringing Up the Past During Arguments
Old hurts can matter without becoming part of every new disagreement. Learn how to recognize when the past enters your Loop, keep one issue in focus, and give unresolved problems the separate attention they need.
How to Slow Down a Fight When You’re Both Getting Worked Up
Arguments often become harder to stop long before anyone is yelling. Learn how to notice Overload earlier, slow the conversation down, and choose a different next move before familiar Protection Moves take over.
How to Pause an Argument Without Avoiding the Problem
A pause can lower Overload without making the issue disappear. Learn how to stop an argument, create a trustworthy return plan, and come back with more capacity to continue the conversation.
How to Come Back to a Conversation After Cooling Down
Cooling down can lower the intensity, but restarting the conversation well takes more than picking up where you stopped. Learn how to return with more capacity, stay with one issue, and keep the Loop from restarting.
How to Respond When Your Partner Shuts Down
When your partner shuts down, pushing harder can make the distance grow. Learn how to respond to silence, protect the issue, and create space without letting the conversation disappear.
How to Respond When Your Partner Gets Defensive
When your partner gets defensive, the original concern can quickly disappear underneath a second argument. Learn how to stay with the issue, ask for acknowledgment, and respond without feeding the Loop.
What to Do When Your Partner Says They’re Too Overwhelmed to Talk
When your partner says they are too overwhelmed to talk, respecting their capacity does not mean abandoning the issue. Learn how relational awareness can help both of you pause responsibly and create a clear path back to the conversation.