Practical Conflict Skills
Aaron Jarrels is a licensed therapist and founder of Break the Loop, a relationship education framework that helps couples identify and interrupt recurring conflict patterns that keep them having versions of the same fight.
Explore Aaron’s articles on recurring conflict, overload, protection moves, repair, and the patterns that keep couples stuck in the same arguments.
How to Slow Down a Fight When You’re Both Getting Worked Up
Arguments often become harder to stop long before anyone is yelling. Learn how to notice Overload earlier, slow the conversation down, and choose a different next move before familiar Protection Moves take over.
How to Pause an Argument Without Avoiding the Problem
A pause can lower Overload without making the issue disappear. Learn how to stop an argument, create a trustworthy return plan, and come back with more capacity to continue the conversation.
How to Come Back to a Conversation After Cooling Down
Cooling down can lower the intensity, but restarting the conversation well takes more than picking up where you stopped. Learn how to return with more capacity, stay with one issue, and keep the Loop from restarting.
How to Respond When Your Partner Shuts Down
When your partner shuts down, pushing harder can make the distance grow. Learn how to respond to silence, protect the issue, and create space without letting the conversation disappear.
How to Respond When Your Partner Gets Defensive
When your partner gets defensive, the original concern can quickly disappear underneath a second argument. Learn how to stay with the issue, ask for acknowledgment, and respond without feeding the Loop.
What to Do When Your Partner Says They’re Too Overwhelmed to Talk
When your partner says they are too overwhelmed to talk, respecting their capacity does not mean abandoning the issue. Learn how relational awareness can help both of you pause responsibly and create a clear path back to the conversation.
Why You Can See an Argument Going Bad and Still Have Trouble Stopping It
When you can see an argument going bad but still cannot seem to stop it, awareness is not necessarily the problem. Learn why capacity narrows inside the Loop and how catching the pattern earlier creates more choice.
Why Can’t We Talk About Problems Without Fighting?
Why do important conversations keep turning into fights? Learn how recurring interaction patterns can take over a discussion—and how recognizing your Loop earlier can create more room for a different response.
How to Interrupt an Argument Before It Gets Out of Control
Learn how to interrupt an argument before it gets out of control by recognizing the recurring pattern underneath it and using four practical steps to change what happens next.
How to Tell When a Normal Disagreement Is Turning Into the Same Old Fight
Recurring arguments usually have an early signature. Learn how to recognize when a normal disagreement is starting to become the same old fight.
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