Loops
Aaron Jarrels is a licensed therapist and founder of Break the Loop, a relationship education framework that helps couples identify and interrupt recurring conflict patterns that keep them having versions of the same fight.
Explore Aaron’s articles on recurring conflict, overload, protection moves, repair, and the patterns that keep couples stuck in the same arguments.
Why Couples Understand Their Conflict in Session but Cannot Recognize It During the Fight
Couples may understand their recurring conflict pattern clearly in session and still miss it during the next fight. BTL gives practitioners a way to locate the couple’s current catch point and help real-time recognition begin moving earlier.
What Break the Loop Adds to Gottman, EFT, and Other Couples Therapy Approaches
Break the Loop is not designed to replace established couples therapy approaches. Learn how its portable conflict map can complement Gottman, EFT, and other models by helping couples see the sequence beneath recurring fights.
How to Help Couples Map the Fight Beneath the Topic
Practitioners often see the same interaction repeat beneath very different conflict topics. Learn how the Break the Loop framework helps couples map that sequence without dismissing the issue, assigning fixed roles, or replacing the approaches clinicians already use.
What Do We Do When I Need to Talk Now and My Partner Needs Space?
When one partner wants to keep talking and the other needs space, both can feel increasingly desperate. Learn how to interrupt the push-pull pattern without forcing conversation or abandoning the issue.
Is My Partner Taking Space or Giving Me the Silent Treatment?
Taking space during conflict is not automatically avoidance or the silent treatment. Learn what separates a healthy pause from withdrawal that increases uncertainty, distance, or pressure in the relationship.
How to Bring Up a Problem Without Starting the Same Fight
Bringing up a real problem should not require perfect wording. Learn how to raise a concern clearly, reduce avoidable escalation, and keep the conversation focused on the issue instead of the familiar Loop.
How to Listen to Your Partner When You Think They’re Wrong
Listening during disagreement does not require agreement. Learn how to understand your partner’s experience, stay connected to your own perspective, and keep the conflict from falling into the same familiar Loop.
Why Do I Feel Unheard in My Relationship?
Feeling unheard can happen even when both partners are talking and trying to solve the problem. Learn how recurring conflict changes what each person can hear, understand, and do next.
Why Do We Keep Having the Same Fight?
Couples often repeat the same fight because the topic changes while the interaction pattern stays familiar. Learn how to recognize the Loop underneath recurring conflict and find an earlier point of choice.
Why Do I Cry During Arguments With My Partner?
Crying during an argument does not automatically mean the conversation has to end. Learn how tears can interact with Overload, your partner’s reaction, and familiar Protection Moves—and how to decide whether to continue or pause.